I struggle between trying to confirm to societal standards and being a free spirit.
I'm weird. Its probably better that I embrace it and live the most amazing weird life ever.
Other Twenty-somethings can judge me from their shabby apartment that they struggle to keep the lights on while I explore the world and praise God and eat amazing food.
"What the heck is she even talking about?" you may ask. Let me tell you:
Guten Tag, my name is Stephanie Gromko and I am in need of an adventure.
I am twenty eight years old; I am single; I have a full time job; I am a devout Catholic. By most standards, I am a competent and well adjusted adult. However, I live with my parents. This fact has been a thorn in my side, a source of shame and regret. I feel, and many other people have expressed that they feel, that in order for me to qualify as a "grown-ass-woman" I need to move out of my parents house and get an apartment. I also feel this way, which is why my need for adventure is such a struggle. When I was 22 years old I had the chance to move out and live in a beautiful three bedroom duplex with one of my best friends for four whole months, but then I made some *disastrous* financial mistakes that landed me back at mom and dad's and I have been climbing out of that money pit for the last 6 years. Now I am finally at a point where I am financially stable enough to move out again and join the "real world". Here is my dilemma- I seek adventure in the great wide somewhere... somewhere being Europe.
I am a budget nerd. I love to budget! Being a budget nerd is what helped me get out of my mess. It is also how I know I could move out right now and be just fine. BUT it is ALSO how I know that if I move out right now, I will never save enough money to go to Europe. My current budget leaves me with anywhere between $30 to $200 extra for savings each month, depending on whether I get overtime hours. Generally speaking, it is better to assume I will not be able to save any more than $50 a month. At that rate it will take me over 6 years to save the four thousand dollars the trip will cost. I pray to God that within six years I am married and starting a family, and so the dream of taking off to Europe for three weeks will have gone out the window as my priorities change from eating pierogi in Krakow and attending mass in Rome to buying diapers and saving for college. However, if I postpone moving out for just eight months, I can save seven thousand dollars. Four thousand will be used for the trip of a lifetime, and three thousand will be used to start my new "grown-ass-woman" life.
In November I will celebrate my 29th birthday- the beginning of the thirtieth year of my life- and I had certainly hoped to be out on my own by then, but now I ponder how much regret I will have if I don't take this trip. Will I regret eight more months at home? Probably not. I am sure it will go by in the blink of an eye. Will I regret moving out just to prove something to people whom I actually have nothing to prove? Yes. But- do I have something to prove to myself? Yes. I must prove to myself that I am my own person. I am God's person, and my life does not need to be lived by anyone's standards but His. We are given this one life. We are called to love Him and each other. and we are called time and time and time again to BE NOT AFRAID. So, what am I afraid of? That people will say unkind things about me while I live the most amazing and blessed life that God could give me? I am not talking about mooching off of my parents for the rest of my earthly life- I am talking about eight months to fulfill a dream.
I think I'm going to do it.
I'm going to Europe.
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