1 Corinthians 6:19

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of

the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from

God, and that you are not your own?"

In January of 2013 I felt stuck. Stuck in the endless cycle of addiction, shame, and low-self worth- all of which I tried to self medicate with that which I was addicted to.
Food.
I should say AM addicted to.
In January of 2013 I could barely walk without pain. My blood pressure was through the roof. I lost my breath halfway up the stairs. I was depressed. I was lost. I cried out to God for help and he responded in the quiet of my heart with a simple Go to mass. Really? Go to mass? How could that possibly help? Go to mass he continued to insist. The following Sunday I made excuses as to why I couldn't make it on time- mostly simply by lying in my bed and watching the time pass. Once it was clear that I was going to miss the final morning mass I got out of bed and began my day. Go to mass rang in the back of my mind all day as I was reminded that there was a 5PM mass at our Cathedral. As the day went on I knew I had to follow His instruction and so I went.
"Lord, I am lost. I am stuck. I can barely breath. I need help! Please help me!" I prayed over and over.
The following week three different people mentioned to me a weight loss product they were using and having amazing results with- Ideal Protein.
I had done some research on IP many months before and had decided that it was far too expensive for my budget (budget nerd!). Now that it popped up again, I decided to give it a second look. Lo and behold! Somehow it all seemed to fit. Yes- it was still extremely expensive, but somehow it fit. I went back to Church the following Sunday to pray about it some more and to thank God for the opportunity.
February 2013 I began a new leg of my ever-ongoing weight loss journey, this time using Ideal Protein. I weighed in a 336.6 lbs. I was a size 22 and spilling over all of my clothes. I should have been wearing a 24. Over the course of the next 7 months I followed the program, relying not on my own strength, but God's to get me through and I lost over 75lbs. You can watch my transformation HERE if you are interested. :-)
But now what. Now where am I, now that is has been a year since the glory days of squeezing into a size 16?

 Here are the before-and-afters from IP- 75lbs difference:

Here is me in the same size outfit today:

Size 18 jeans, size XL t-shirt.

Yea... about that....
So now what?

What do I do now that I have, seemingly, wasted this opportunity that God gave me?

Try, try again.

Does my failure to keep the weight off make me any less a child of God, a bride of Christ? Nope.

True failure is not found in he who falls, but he who chooses to not get back up.
So I will put it in His hands. And I will ask Our Mother, Undoer of knots to pray for me. And I will be a budget nerd. :-)
Calories in vs. calories out.
I will also make goals- some weight goals to help mark progress, but mostly physical goals. Can I run a half mile? Can I run a WHOLE mile??? can I climb a mountain? Can I fit in those size 18 jeans again? Can if squeeze back into the 16s?!?! The weight needs to come off to accomplish these things, but more importantly, I want to eat better and exercise more forever, not just until I reach a certain goal. If you would like, you are more than welcome to add me on MyFitnessPal Stephieneedsadventure
Since that first whisper to Go to mass I am glad to say I haven't missed a Sunday since. I actually try to go to mass everyday when I can. This sort of hunger for God is the kind of hunger I need for a better lifestyle. It will be hard. I wont love every second of it, haha. But it will be worth it.
Adventure starts at home.
and in the gym.
and in the kitchen.

Stephie Needs Adventure

Yes. Yes She does.
I struggle between trying to confirm to societal standards and being a free spirit.
I'm weird. Its probably better that I embrace it and live the most amazing weird life ever.
Other Twenty-somethings can judge me from their shabby apartment that they struggle to keep the lights on while I explore the world and praise God and eat amazing food.
"What the heck is she even talking about?" you may ask. Let me tell you:

Guten Tag, my name is Stephanie Gromko and I am in need of an adventure.

I am twenty eight years old; I am single; I have a full time job; I am a devout Catholic. By most standards, I am a competent and well adjusted adult. However, I live with my parents. This fact has been a thorn in my side, a source of shame and regret. I feel, and many other people have expressed that they feel, that in order for me to qualify as a "grown-ass-woman" I need to move out of my parents house and get an apartment. I also feel this way, which is why my need for adventure is such a struggle. When I was 22 years old I had the chance to move out and live in a beautiful three bedroom duplex with one of my best friends for four whole months, but then I made some *disastrous* financial mistakes that landed me back at mom and dad's and I have been climbing out of that money pit for the last 6 years. Now I am finally at a point where I am financially stable enough to move out again and join the "real world". Here is my dilemma- I seek adventure in the great wide somewhere... somewhere being Europe.

I am a budget nerd. I love to budget! Being a budget nerd is what helped me get out of my mess. It is also how I know I could move out right now and be just fine. BUT it is ALSO how I know that if I move out right now, I will never save enough money to go to Europe. My current budget leaves me with anywhere between $30 to $200 extra for savings each month, depending on whether I get overtime hours. Generally speaking, it is better to assume I will not be able to save any more than $50 a month. At that rate it will take me over 6 years to save the four thousand dollars the trip will cost. I pray to God that within six years I am married and starting a family, and so the dream of taking off to Europe for three weeks will have gone out the window as my priorities change from eating pierogi in Krakow and attending mass in Rome to buying diapers and saving for college. However, if I postpone moving out for just eight months, I can save seven thousand dollars. Four thousand will be used for the trip of a lifetime, and three thousand will be used to start my new "grown-ass-woman" life.

In November I will celebrate my 29th birthday- the beginning of the thirtieth year of my life- and I had certainly hoped to be out on my own by then, but now I ponder how much regret I will have if I don't take this trip. Will I regret eight more months at home? Probably not. I am sure it will go by in the blink of an eye. Will I regret moving out just to prove something to people whom I actually have nothing to prove? Yes. But- do I have something to prove to myself? Yes. I must prove to myself that I am my own person. I am God's person, and my life does not need to be lived by anyone's standards but His. We are given this one life. We are called to love Him and each other. and we are called time and time and time again to BE NOT AFRAID. So, what am I afraid of? That people will say unkind things about me while I live the most amazing and blessed life that God could give me? I am not talking about mooching off of my parents for the rest of my earthly life- I am talking about eight months to fulfill a dream.

I think I'm going to do it.

I'm going to Europe.